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The show returns to quality, at least from an audio perspective. Hosts James Gillard, Wesley Johnson, Russ Walsh, Clayton Ashley, and Randall Smith gibber and jabber about jelly, G-Unit, and games of all sorts, and do so in the context of new theme music to boot. In this episode: Russ lives in boring, periodically-invaded-by-Mongols Eastern Washington. Clayton working at the paper, and we are all looking forward to the Watchmen movie. James bangs around on his desktop through the episode. James working on a curriculum integrating use of Rock Band and/or Guitar Hero in his school. James puts Randall down for uttering the trademark sounds and sound effects from Little Britain. "Help the Police" from Rush Hour pimped. James's karaoke success. Clayton not following Battlestar Galactica, like a chump. Clayton over the moon on Noby Noby Boy, and still enthused about Homeworld. Wesley playing Fiddy's BoTS. Ben Gilbert's life in danger. The latest gems from the New Cypress News. Murderous book recommendations. Hatred for Edison and love for Tesla, in some detail. Great Sci-Fi movies never made, and the book that tells all. Crank recommended. The premise for the sequel to Crank questioned. The progress of the Chicago JPAG Meetup. The disappointing absence of Wes at the Chicago JPAG Meetup. Inappropriate photos on the JPAG. The amusing other Joystiq fan group and Russ's infiltration thereof. Threads in the JPAG, from "Who'da Thunk It?" to "Redemption in Games." Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from songs by The Long Winters, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Intro from "Shapes"; outro from "Scared Straight." You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk. This week's art an homage to Shawn Wolfe's art design for the WIPtF album.
In an extremely irritating twist, an update to Skype resets our recorded audio format to the lowest possible quality. No, Gentle Listener, this week's hosts Randall Smith, Wesley Johnson, Benjamin Gilbert, Matt McCormick, and Jarret Green did not record the show into a coffee can or trumpet mute, howsoever difficult you may find it to credit that assertion after hearing the show. In this episode: A Morning Zoo opening. The origin and proper pronunciation of "Mattholomew," detailed. Jokes at the expense of diabetics, made by diabetics. What Jarret's been up to: his neck in snow, for a week, apparently. Ben types loudly. Jarret enjoying a 7-minute commute; no longer enjoying podcasts to any great extent. A promise to liveblog/ustream the amputation of his feet, made by Wes, in the event he comes to that pass. Jarret recommends the new M. Ward CD, and is seconded by Matt. Ben is mistaken for that guy from Death Cab for Cutie. Ben reports from his time writing for Joystiq. He is a busy man, and reads other sites far less frequently. Ben's Xbox still at MS. He finished watching Band of Brothers, and was blown away. The fate of Matt's repaired 360, disclosed; also revealed, Matt's wife's suspicious disposition. Craig's list produces a trade for a slightly used Ipod Touch, battery not included. Sketchy references to To Catch a Predator. Wes playing Retrogame Challenge. Wes steps into HDTV land -- Woot! Wes out of debt. Ben on MGS4 and Pixeljunk Eden, but not on Flow'r. Noby Noby Boy described in the most prurient fashion imaginable. Jarret playing text games and loving them. Randall plugs PercussONE, having played and enjoyed it. Street Fighter IV blathered on about at length, including comments on controller choices. Matt gets to the end credits in Burnout Paradise, having reached an A-Level license. Has glitchy fun with GTA: The Lost and the Damned. And then the hosts of this here episode consider the questions raised in Part Two of Shawn Elliott's Symposium severally. Music: Opening: excerpt from "Hail to the Chief" by John Philip Souza. Closing: excerpt from "8-Bit Junkie" by George Wood.
Because he hadda open his fat mouth, Robin Gillham was dragooned into helping host this week's extremely JPAG-focused show, alongside Tom Johnson, Randall Smith, and Wesley Johnson. Not enough JPAG, you say? Blame Robin, this week! At least, until he drops from the show. In this episode: Rob's reasons for not appearing on the show to date, explained. Robin in 6-form. Finds English literature to be very demanding; interested in Biology, but more interested in the comparatively easier field of politics. Robin 17 going on 18. Has his exams in two months time -- not looking forward to it. Robin from Chester, an old town with old buildings. Robin a recent PS3 acquirer. Robin claims to know German, but "forgot." Knows a suspicious-sounding German insult. Tom Johnson now in school again, and being charged without credit for painful math experiences. Now also playing the part of copyeditor for the school newspaper. His website,, getting underway, and to focus on original content. Looking for more people to help, he is. Some advice and commiseration from Wesley, founder and chief shill for Killzone 2 discussed as a competent shooter. Operation Anchorage appreciated by Wesley. The travails of the Nuka-Cola Challenge. Already obsolete references to the L4D sale at Steam. Randall managing to collect the shreds of his dignity and give props to Clayton et al for the epic pwnage of L4D. Dave Trevaskis now persona non grata. South Africans still beating their schoolchildren. Tom playing Audiosurf. Tom gets an A on his paper about notable press personalities AKA Justin McElroy. Justin's tree-hating post in the JPAG, and his Shorty Awards acceptance speech for the visually impaired. An anecdote of a false burglar alarm and a genuinely disconcerting lack of response from police, as told by Wesley. Randall narrates a vignette from days of his youth in support of the claim that roundhouse kicks and fire alarms do not mix well. Conventions, the stars that attend them, the fans who want pictures with those stars, and the dollars in the pockets of said fans forked over to said stars for said pictures. The Chicago JPAG Meetup pre-empted by a cooking class. Robin Gillham pre-empted by technical difficulties. Matt M's challenge to the JPAG: what to do with a repaired 360 console? Tom Johnson's early response to the question: give it to him, the poor sap. A highly suspicious email read. Music: Opening: excerpt from "Hail to the Chief" by John Philip Souza. Closing: excerpt from "8-Bit Junkie" by George Wood.
This the twenty-thirde episode of this here show features the listenable likes of Yaniv Pereyaslavsky, Clayton Ashley, Marie Barnes, Wesley Johnson, and Randall Smith. Some of us would have preferred to stay in bed, some of us should have stayed in bed, and some of us sound as if we did in fact stay in bed for the entirety of this 83-minute show. In this episode: Clayton conducting boring interviews at school. Marie playing Magic the Gathering, and building a control deck. A what? Marie explaining MtG deck creation. Marie fears she bores you, Gentle Listener; you protest otherwise. Randall makes another idle threat to edit out offensiveness. All about Go! Gaming Giant, and what Yaniv is up to now. An Episode the Fifthe joke becomes a sudden reality. A dilatory Doritos discussion. Clayton lists his Dragonslayer in Far Cry 2 fashion. Clayton reveals Drop 7, a game regarded by Randall as more properly named Drop 666. Randall continues to play L4D, and continues to painfully eke out achievements. Wes plays handhelds in the dark. Marie enjoying No More Heroes, thanks to Secret Santa Jeff Mondloch. The New Cypress News, and a Spirit-filled interjection in another column. Marie's Top Ten Lines Former Boyfriends Should Have Said, Instead of What They Did Say, the Bums. Yaniv gets in a last-minute plug for Go! Gaming Giant. Music: Opening: excerpt from "Hail to the Chief" by John Philip Souza. Closing: excerpt from "8-Bit Junkie" by George Wood. New Cypress News music: "Freja's Breakdown" by Freja Bluegrass Band, available on the Podsafe Music Network (
This week drops megaton after megaton in 122 planet-busting minutes, thanks to the dead-on accuracy and skill of audio bombadiers Wesley Johnson, Ben Gilbert, Matt McCormick, Randall Smith, and Chris Grant. In this episode: Chris living in a box. Beer tastes compared. The absurd distribution method of beer in Philadephia, lamented, and its deleterious effect on trying new snob beers. The virtues of Sam's Wine and Spirits, extolled. Why Wes does not drink, and how he achieves the same effect without alcohol. An amusing story of Wes imperiling people with automobiles and catatonic trances. Ben's machine RRODs, after an abortive RB2 tour. Chris revising his story, admitting to living in several boxes. Randall's bathroom a disaster. Chris and Randall compare notes on power tools. A brief nervous dart into manly sports discussion, thankfully over quickly, and transitioning immediately in virtual manliness with Dragonslayer. Ben playing MGS4, on Chris' borrowed PS3. Ben not into stealth gaming; Chris not into Ben not being into stealth gaming. Chris initially not into Fallout 3; Chris now into Fallout 3, and out of time. Not playing Fable II anymore, and glad to be off the juice. Please do not bring the subject up, lest he fall off the wagon. Wes glad to be A) not frozen in ice, and B) able to game at all. Playing Chrono Trigger on the DS. Apparently there are folks with thicker accents than Wes. Matt playing a ton of Eternal Sonata, to free himself up to play a ton of Lost Odyssey. Reveals his favorite emails written by himself. Randall playing L4D, witnesses a formative moment in the life of a soon-to-be-foulmouthed youngster. L4D tactics discussed. Ben wondering what kind of computer he needs to play L4D on Steam. Megaton Revelation! A new Joystiq employee. That employee wonders what his job actually might be. That employee is charged with coffee retrieval, and behind-the-scenes wiki updating and organization. Joystiq comments, and the long-lasting scars of early days. Ideas for efficiently managing Joystiq trolls. That new employee actually directs listeners on how to handle comments. All things Ultrastiq, deliberated. Chris talks about stuff that he isn't supposed to say; then lowers his voice. That new employee now has Banhammer access. The risks of audience reception with any redesign, considered. Fanboy sites merge with Joystiq to form Devastator. Chris's girlfriend revealed as a Scrabble addict, and sometime hustler. Justin now Reviews Editor. Chris reading Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Banana Yoshimoto's N.P. suggested. The Omnivore's Dilemma a read mandated by both Matt and Chris. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell lauded yet again. Wesley recommends Wal-Mart romance fantasy favorite Heart of the Dragon, supposedly in irony; irony suspect. Names for Dave and Charly's youngun, brainstormed. Malt-O-Meal cereals discussed. Music: Opening: excerpt from "Hail to the Chief" by John Philip Souza. Closing: excerpt from "8-Bit Junkie" by George Wood.
In this 95-minute instantly available show, hosts Aaron Kirchhoff, Wesley Johnson, Holly Attesi, James Gillard, and Randall Smith fight the horrors of irregularly available entertainment. Off and on, anyway. In this episode: Aaron Kirchhoff - Vet in the making; also interested in "exotics." This term never defined on-air for reasons of decency. His educated opinion on the question of canine afterlife. The inadvisable inhalation of pipe smoke. Aaron's home remedy for 360 disc read problems. Aaron squeezing the last drop of life out of each game. Aaron the curmudgeon? No, just shy and silently hating you. A quick tally of fistfight records among the hosts. James's Fable II fighting record not nearly as impressive as his real-life fighting record. James playing LucasArts games. Wes playing Evidence: the Last Ritual. The virtues of a mic pop screen implicitly extolled. James reformed by his spouse in Fable II; Fallout 3 not as morally compelling. Randall still playing L4D, and really bad. Randall's poor performance a source of hope and inspiration to Aaron and James. The Sunday L4D game meetup. A JPAG Game Night calendar created (, courtesy of Brian Weis. A belated discussion of Christmas Invasion reception by Joystiq commenters. James irritated by the dry forum in the JPAG. Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp, heralded by James as a long-awaited answer to his plea for more Battenberg cake inclusion in games. Battenburg cakes, explained, and linked to James' mysterious past. Biscuits on either side of the pond. Notable links to biscuitpedia-type sites. Mornington Crescent explained, in a manner of speaking. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, lauded by James. Thrilling stateside access to Red Dwarf on Netflix. James envious, and called a smeghead by Randall. Then, James gets dropped. King of Kong, appreciated by Randall. Primer, recommended by Wes. Holly Attesi elected the most popular JPAG Show guest host. Suspicion cast upon the circumstances surrounding said election. Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler - a champion, contends James. Gamestop lending practices debated again. Music: Opening: excerpt from "Hail to the Chief" by John Philip Souza. Closing: excerpt from "8-Bit Junkie" by George Wood.

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